Welcome to the Portal!
I have decided to start up a blog to share my process, interests, life events, stories, jokes, and whatever else! I think a blog would be a good way for me to connect with you folks. You can read the silly thoughts I think and the strange ideas boopin ‘round this smoothly wrinkled brain.
Also- I just want to say THANK YOU. Yes, YOU. For taking a lil minute out of your day to read my words. Maybe you are on break at work, or taking a nice ol’ dump into the porcelain well, or maybe you are waiting at the bus stop. All I gotta say is, I appreciate you giving me a few minutes of your day and perhaps, believing in the work I do.
Sooooo! To start off this first blog post, I would like to share one of the projects I have been chippin’ away at. I have been working on a new batch of earrings. My goal is to upload them to the website April 15th at 2p PST/5p EST.
After a year or so of selling jewelry, it is catching up to me with how tedious the process is. I enjoy the process, I really do. I would like to take a minute though and reflect on how and where I started with jewelry.
Before making jewelry, I have always enjoyed painting and drawing. For painting I got lost in watercolors and acrylics. I loved playing with the textures and color mixing of acrylics and the layering and shading of watercolors. When the pandemic swooped in and flipped everyone’s life upside-down, I was faced with a major artist’s block when it came to painting. I was lost. I didn’t know what to paint. I didn’t even really want to paint either. So, I decided “you know what? I am going to try to make one of my paintings out of polymer clay. Why not?” And to be honest, it turned out terrible. BUT I discovered a new medium to get my hands on, clay. I love clay. Some of the first things I made out of clay were ashtrays for my friends to dump their weed scraps and cigarette butts in. After making a few ashtrays, a few friends were asking to buy some. Then, some friends suggested I try making earrings. I gave it a shot. Some of the earrings in that first batch turned out great, some, not so great. However, there were a few in there worth something and a few friends expressed interest in owning a pair or two.
I kept making earrings, and experimenting with different colors, shapes, sizes. One thing led to another, and I heard through a coworker that a local brewery was hosting an art bizarre. It was the very first opportunity for me to get my work out there. At least test the waters. I was SO nervous. Shaking nervous. I cried in my car on the way there. Putting myself and my art out there for the first time at a booth was a TERRIFYING thought. I had no displays, and I bought a black tablecloth from the grocery store, printed out a sign with payment info, and off I went. Nervous as hell.
Despite the anxiety running through my entire body, the art bizarre was really fun! I made a handful of new friends. The brewery gave us a few drinks on the house. PEOPLE BOUGHT MY EARRINGS AND SAID THEY LIKED THEM. I had not sold my art like this before. I was in shock. I did not know what to think. It was a strange thing to have to try to accept that the earrings I made were, in fact, good.
You may be thinking, “What? How could you think that?” or maybe you have also been in a similar space and experienced this feeling. I was a wee baby artist with some self esteem work to do. I was not used to feeling like my art was worth something. I was not accustomed to pricing my work correctly to make a profit and I was worried I would overprice and my work was not worth that much. I was worried people would not like my earrings. I was worried my display was not enough. I was worried about putting myself out there.
Yet, more opportunities to pop up and vend kept opening the door to more batches of earrings being made. And more batches of earrings being made led to more people seeking out my jewelry. And the more people I met, the more comfortable I became taking up space as an artist.
I have always considered myself somewhat of an artist. It was “something I do on the side” yet in the past two years has transitioned into “being an artist is who I am.” Picking up clay to challenge my artist block has led me down this journey of what it really means to be an artist and how to dip into the infinite well of creativity the universe has to offer.
If I could share a few words on what I have learned thus far:
We are human and we may know some things but in the grand scheme of things we do not know anything
BUT It is okay to not know anything
Actually, cause we do not know anything, that means there is a lot of things we can explore
Trying something new, even if it is really small, can be very fun (like trying a different drink at your favorite coffee shop, taking a different route on your walk home, trying a new recipe for dinner you found on Pinterest) super small things that are different from your routine open the door for new experiences. Subtle, yet effective (and fun).
JOY IS NECESSARY. No seriously, finding joy in the mundane aspects of life. Sounds cliche and is definitely easier said than done. Capitalism and white supremacy has berated our lives with depressing, shameful, violent and oppressive systems. Finding and creating moments of joy for yourself is necessary to take care of your health and to have energy to be active in fighting against these oppressive systems AND creating art. Take a moment out of your day to look up at the sky and watch the clouds, hear the birds tweet, watch the raindrops hit the puddles, savor that first sip of coffee, be the main character and let the wind blow through your hair and across your face, listen to your favorite song with your eyes shut and take in all the layers. That kinda stuff. Being present.
Call your friends, reach out to your friends, make sure they are okay, send them a meme, send them a picture of a frog, send them a silly voice memo. We are all kinda fucked up from the past few years. We just gotta stick together through this shit show.
Allowing your ideas space is SO important. Allow the bad ideas to roll off your pen or your notes app, wherever. Let all those silly ideas out, there’s bound to be a few good ones amongst the bad ones. You have to allow space for your brian to vomit and shit out all the bad stuff. As someone who has rampant anxiety and self-doubt, giving my ideas space in my journals has opened a plethora of opportunities for me to explore different things to create in a safe environment.
Another thing I have been practicing is listening to my needs. When I feel sad, angry or other unpleasant emotions, I have been trying to reframe my mind to think, “What do I need right now?” Is it food? Time alone? A good cry? The comfort from a friend or family member?
And the last thing: BABY YOURSELF. Yep. Be so gentle with yourself. If you are having a rough day (because EVERYONE has those), be proud of getting out of bed. Be proud of putting food in the fridge. Be proud of brushing your teeth. Be proud of the small things you do for yourself and for others. Might sound silly, but I have been practicing this for the past year and I have discovered that when I am gentle to myself, it is a lot easier to feel confident and sure of myself.
This list may sound a bit preachy but I am hoping that maybe this will help someone as it has helped me. Or you got something else that has helped you in your creative journey, please email or dm me! I love talking about the journey of being an artist and hearing other’s experiences :)
THANK YOU
That’s all I got for you on this first blog post, I appreciate your time. Please let me know if there is anything that stuck out to you, anything you would like to talk about, or any hot goss haha.
Sending you lots of creative energy and a warm hug.
- Lily Grey
